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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Just A Few More

Well, yesterday's journal was so popular here are just a few more ways you can tell a true southerner.

The difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale, you ask??
A Northern fairy tale starts out "Once upon a time.."
A Southern fairy tale starts out "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'.

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right fur piece."

They also know that "just down the road" can be one mile or 20.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines ... And when we’re in line, we talk to everybody!

In the South, y’all is singular .... All y’all is plural.

Northern girls say you can. Southern girls say y'all can.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don’t want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart"...And go your own way.

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff ... Bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’all's front porch that reads "I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

That's it For Today.


Gypsy said...

You sure are right about people talking in lines. I haven't seen any line talkin' since I left North Carolina!

Yarntangler said...

Reading these was not only fun but also a look at a kinder and more relaxed way of life. I love the way all y'all suddenly start chatting to me in the lines. Y'all seem to know how to make the world a mite more pleasant.
Bless your heart.

JB said...

And in Canada a tall tale is usually begun with the words "No word of a lie"

Speedy said...

You are too good girl..

Joe and Sherri