Funnies

Well, there's not much going on here today. Since I have been using my pea brain for something other than a hat rack the last couple days I thought I would share a couple jokes with you. If you have already heard them - read them anyway. They may be funnier the second time around.


Redneck Fisherman

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man,
'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'
'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You u must understand, these here are my pet fish.'
'Pet fish?'
'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'
'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.' '
O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'
'Well, what?', says the redneck.
The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'
'Call who back?' '
The FISH', replied the warden!
'What fish?', replied the redneck.

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees. You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.

The Monkey Story

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.
He then announced that he would now buy at $20 each..
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch one!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.
In his absence, the assistant told the villagers, 'Look at all the monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at$35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50each.'
The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.Then they never saw the man nor his assistant ever again; only monkeys everywhere!

You now have a better understanding of how the Mortgage and Stock Market work.

That's it For Today.